Terrorizing two-year-old

July 23, 2008

The little cousin is something of a terror, but naturally still sweet in the way all kids are. His parents yell and threaten and swear they’ve tried everything but seem otherwise proud of the fact that their toddler scares away 5-year-olds. Half the time he does play well with the boys, but the rest of the time he pushes, shoves, grabs and bites. He knocked Ethan off the scooter car and has come close to causing serious injury many times. Still, he can be really sweet. In some ways I’m a little impressed his parents have the patience that they do. I have seen them sometimes rather than yelling or smacking telling him gently that he’s a good boy and to share and showing their affection often, even on occasion removing him from the scene despite his rather hearty (and he is very strong!) protests.. Still last night I nearly blew a fuse when he was taking all their blocks into his backpack and Ethan was quite upset (he’s definitely more sensitive). So there were four or five adults huddled around trying to reason with this spoiled two-year-old and unwilling to just remove him from the situation. Meanwhile I was the only one who remembered the boys’ potatoes cooking on the stove before they burned. Another lady was there playing with her 9-month-old and she kept shaking her head. Apparently that’s the reaction most parents have around here and apparently also it runs in the family – his grandpa is tough, a fighter, his dad has been known to easily get in fights and his uncle in recent times beat his parents, the kids’ grandparents, not to mention his own wife and kid. Still I tell Jack he may be genetically predisposed but his strong character can certainly still be turned for the good.

The good news is Jack’s cousin in Fuzhou managed to secure us soft berth tickets for Sunday back to Beijing. I am very relieved about that! And excited it’s only a few days away. We’re trying to work out right now what we’re doing the last few days. The plan was to go tomorrow to Jack’s village, but right now Jack is very upset at his dad. He first wanted us to stay in the village in his “own” house, a complete dump, then to stay with another uncle, who Jack says his place is not much better. Jack wanted to stay with an uncle that has a nicer house. But his dad is on the outs with that uncle (as he apparently is with much of his family) and refuses to come if we do that. He tells Jack he should build his own house, and Jack says he would if his dad had ever done anything for him, but he sees all his cousins getting houses from their parents, not to mention just generally being raised well and gets upset that his dad expects him to do it for him. So now we are thinking we may stay where we are one more hot, boring day and go the village for lunch on Friday then head into Fuzhou to a hotel for the last couple nights. I cannot wait to get some peace and quiet, hopefully air conditioning, and not to mention Internet!

Speaking of air conditioning, I can’t believe we’ve lived over two weeks now in scorching heat with no central air. We load up on the icy water and turn the fans on high but it’s still unbearable. Still, I have to count our blessings that at least, except for a couple nights a couple times, we’ve had AC in our sleeping room. So at least naps and nighttime are comfortable.

Despite being really in the middle of nowhere (though not for long, a new highway is coming through), we have found one thing to entertain the boys. They love swimming in the river. We have to trust it’s not toxic, but most of the locals don’t seem to think so, swimming and washing their clothes there. We go in the evening after 5pm when the water is lower so we can pretty much wade all the way across. The cousin has inner tubes and little blow-up boat too they like to play with. He and another boy had been playing with us for a couple nights but we realized these festering sores on cousin’s leg were getting worse and suggested he shouldn’t come anymore. I gave them some antibiotic ointment and bandages but not sure they’ll really use them. The kid is covered in injuries. When I had to drag him downstairs to his dad a couple nights ago when it was bath time for the boys, apparently the trumpet he had in his mouth cut in his mouth. I felt awful since I didn’t even realize at the time. I went to check on him later after Jack told me and everyone just pooh-poohed me – “oh, this happens all the time”.

His grandparents seem to appreciate American medicine more. I gave them a bunch of ibuprofen when his grandpa, Jack’s uncle, had a fever and headache (spends too much time cooking for us, then also tending to his mother who apparently is a fussy eater and wakes also at night demanding food). Apparently it helped though he also took some Chinese medicine. I hope he doesn’t overdo it. Still he was taking more today for some other pain and asking about what kinds of things you can get in the States, like for nerve pain and such. I told Jack that was a strong as you could get without seeing doctor. Jack told him my mom uses Chinese pain patches for her pain but he hasn’t found them quite as effective!