Hospitals, again

A couple days ago Ethan fell on the stairs when running up on ahead. This seems to often happen and we’ve since instituted a hold-hands policy. But on this particular occasion, he knocked his head hard on the edge of a concrete step. After returning home, he seemed okay until he ate a carrot, lay down and vomited it back up. I decided to keep an eye on him and he ate dinner okay and kept it down, seemed normal, slept okay (even woke up asking to peepee one time). The next morning he developed a fever, slept lots and was super fussy. I didn’t immediately think about his fall until later when he woke from his second nap of the day and threw up again. I started to get worried about a concussion and so we took him to the local hospital. They just asked a few questions, did a blood test, really told us very little except then to go to the children’s hospital to do a CT. Jack thought he was fine and wanted to wait on that but I wanted to get it done so we went halfway across town in rush hour. I should have listened to Jack because when we went to do it they wanted to give him something that Jack first said was to put him to sleep but later explained was a tranquilizer. Either way, I panicked and said no, also thinking getting on in the evening about it taking some time to take effect and do the scan, but mostly imagining putting my poor already miserable and feverish son through that unnecessarily. So we opted to head home and see what happened. I’m glad we did, because he was almost back to normal today and the more I read about CT scans and the possible dangers the more glad I was. Today he still had a low fever and fussed more than usual but has also been a chatterbox and playful.

We spent the afternoon playing in the square, which is something I will really miss. We’ve gotten friendly with a number of kids and their grannies/mamas/ayis and today the boys played badminton with several kids and exchanged their scooter for others’ bikes. There is one granny that I often see but always seemed to look at me with something resembling disgust. I was never sure if she had something against foreigners or just me in particular or what. Today, though, she approached me, to ask why the boys aren’t in kindergarten (most Chinese kids start at 3). I explained to her that they just turned 3, that we are just staying a short time and that it’s not the same in the US. She said her grandson, just over 3, would start in the fall. But we got on to chatting and joking about other things and I realized she was a pretty nice woman after all.

Meanwhile, we are planning a big reunion in Daxing this weekend. All of us who are still around that knew each other there will gather and we will probably stay the night. One old friend who has since married and whose wife is expecting offered to put us up in their apparently large house. I figure it will give them good practice for having their own kid J.

It may also be a good idea because apparently Jack’s cousin and her two kids are coming on Friday to stay with us for a few days! I’m trying to imagine this in our tiny place – it was bad enough with Jack’s dad! But still, she is nice and her daughter was just a toddler (and a very cute and clever one) last time I saw her. The only thing I didn’t like was they paid the price to have a son because apparently a daughter wasn’t good enough. It seemed he had health issues as a baby too because she didn’t have breast milk and fed him rice as a baby. But she has been friendly and helped Jack a lot last time he went to visit his family.

This weekend was party central. It started with what turned out to be a huge affair on Saturday in the Ya Yuan garden where we used to live (I of course forgot to put the memory card in the camera!). It was the birthday of three kids and it was a great time - we saw so many old friends and hanging out there eating off the grill and drinking like old times :) The boys had a great time playing with the "big kids" after they got over being fawned over for some time. Seeing all the mixed marriages and kids also reminded me of one thing I liked about living there. Hang out in that crowd and you never feel like you stand out (except for having twins I guess!). For example, there was the Chinese news anchor from CCTV and her Turkish German husband with their kids speaking German, Turkish, Chinese and English equally well. Another plus is Jack is more inspired than ever to speak Chinese to the boys and is trying harder.

We also reconnected with a couple who now have a 1 1/2 year old boy. She invited us to hang out at their house with the boys and even leave them there since she already hires an ayi (nanny/maid) and her mom is there too. So this morning I took them there and left to go shopping when they were distracted with a big remote-controlled helicopter. I came back expecting tears but they were fine and I was told they didn't cry at all. Too bad we didn't start hanging out there earlier! A couple cleaning ladies were there also the whole time so the boys were well taken care of, and I realized this mama had a very nice life. Two people taking care of one boy, cleaning ladies and everything - maybe we should move back!

So then yesterday was the big day! It started with us all tired due to the big shindig the night before (boys got to sleep maybe at 11 or later and up at the same early hour!). We hung out at a mall nearby and then ate lunch at McDonalds, where they ate chicken nuggets like they'd just found an oasis in the dessert that might not appear again!

In the afternoon, I snuck over to prepare the party while they were napping. Which kind of ended up delaying the party because they woke up crying for mama and I finally texted Jack to give them ice cream and that got them chipper enough to walk over. They were thrilled with all the presents. Attendance was very small due to the other party, but that was fine by us. An old Chinese colleague of mine showed up which was nice. And Laurie, who helped me get the job at CCTV, made them each a fish cake. All in all a good time!

Sand storms! (aka French toast)

I think sometimes I underestimate the boys’ culture shock and adjustment to food. Isaac often gets a gag reflex when he gets upset and often spits his food out (but don’t worry he is still eating plenty and is still more chubby than Ethan!). A couple days ago I made them French toast for breakfast and they were sooo excited. Isaac came back for a second piece, declaring “sick all gone!” This was followed by “I like French toast”. (Everything is about “I like xxx” now – “I like apples’, “I like rice”. However, it took me a day or so to figure out that when he was saying he wanted “sand storm”, this meant French toast. Now he’ll wake Jack up to make him some when I tell him it’s too early. Jack tries to make him say it in Chinese and he will repeat but then asks for “sand storm” again.

They are getting a little better with the Chinese. They will try harder to say things rather than just reverting to saying “grandma” when it’s too difficult. The other day Ethan shocked me when we were washing hands and he said “xi shou” (wash hands) spontaneously. Isaac also impressed an old lady by putting on his shoe when she told him to. There is one little girl they are especially friendly with since her granny is with us and we call her meimei for little sister. So when Ethan sees her he will say “meimei’s here”. The other day he wanted to invite meimei to the park, but Jack says that’s not a very Chinese thing to do!

Yeye went home yesterday. The boys were finally starting to warm up to him a little. Still, it’s nice to have our tiny place back to ourselves. The funny thing is people like him (much also like Jack!) who annoy them constantly they try to avoid, but yet we had a friend over last night who is not really a kid person who they were immediately climbing over and poking at his face and annoying him. Yeye tried hard and I like him and I could tell he was very happy to spend time with him, but I could also tell he didn’t spend a lot of time around young kids (including his own, but that’s another story!).

Meanwhile we took the boys to the Beijing Disney (knock-off) for a special treat. We spent more time walking though trying to find rides they would both like and were big enough to ride. They had a great time though.

And speaking of special treats, the big day is tomorrow! I think though they’ve actually given up on their birthday actually coming since we kept telling them to “wait, wait” for a long time. Now when I ask about their birthday, they will say “wait birthday” or tease that it’s “taxi birthday” or “book birthday”. This morning Isaac saw a picture of a robot or something on the computer and when I asked if he wanted it for his birthday, he said “no, too much money”. But Ethan got excited and declared “too much all gone!” But we bought them each some fun presents and party supplies. Coincidentally, there is another birthday party today in the same place we will have ours today. That one will have greater attendance so we will go say hi to old friends and the boys will have fun I’m sure, but they will be very confused by their own party tomorrow I guess!

More coming after the big day!

It seems I either have a spy or a stalker. Considering where we are, either is a possibility. A young, handsome even, man with a “Marines” T-shirt was in our square this afternoon. I first noticed him because his look was kind of striking and reminded me of a husband of someone I know. After a while I realized he wasn’t talking to anyone and didn’t seem to know anyone there, and what’s more kept looking at us. He smiled sometimes watching the boys and I thought perhaps he just thought they were cute (who wouldn’t?) but even when we moved off the square to another small park then over to the fruit vendor, he would turn and watch us each place. Very peculiar.

We also found out it really is a small world. One of the friendlier folks here is a native Beijinger, very traditional, very Beijinger, but friendly. He is a little older with a 25-year-old daughter and wife probably not much older than that and a boy a little older than Ethan and Isaac. I have been making observations about Olympic preparations and asked Jack to ask him if he thought Beijing was ready. He said yes right away, then kind of back-tracked and said well, not completely. But it turned out he works for the Volleyball committee and is also in charge of the Taiwan delegation. On hearing this, Jack immediately asked if he knew his old boss at Mikado in Indianapolis, who is in Beijing on the delegation for the Games. Turned out he did. Jack was amazed and still can’t get over it.

We find we have to get a bit more creative with entertainment, especially on rainy days in such a small apartment with five us. Coloring and painting last for a brief time. The scooter is also popular as an indoor toy. The other day, they insisted on making robots, which turned out to be wrapping paper around their legs, arms and head. They were very eager to go outside like this after their nap to show off, but were disappointed (I was relieved!) to find the square mostly empty of other kids. They are getting familiar and friendlier with the other kids. Some kids are very possessive of their toys but others share freely and play well with them. When we have something to share like the scooter it certainly helps. They take turns riding bikes or kicking balls around. They also start to try to "read" in bed like mama or on the potty (which is still hit and miss - literally)

At the same time, we find ourselves collecting more toys than we probably should. On a visit to the local planetarium, Jack, who’s usually more “mean” about these things, bought them a ball rolling device. It’s taken us longer to put it together, or fix it, than they actually play with it. Still, it provides us all entertainment.

But said trip to the planetarium proved mildly disastrous. We thought we’d try the 4-D movie, thought the boys would like it, like a roller coaster, and spent a bit of money of that. Well, it turned out to be some under-the-sea kind of thing and the boys were absolutely terrified when air would blow on us and some scary-looking fish would jump out. So we had to take them out before the very short film was even halfway through. They kept saying they were “scared” after the fact, not a word I knew they knew! I kept telling them, “you want to ride scary, dangerous roller coasters but a movie with some fish scares you??” It’s kind of a relief though to know something does scare them!

Hold the mei you!

Well, the boys language skills are improving, but mostly in English! Isaac says more sentences like “I like ice cream” and “Where is car?” and grasps concepts like if we ask him if he wants to see Grandma, or Nora, says “nooooo, way way, go airplane”, meaning too far away. However, he does seem to understand more Chinese, and last night after trying to poo poo he was saying “mei you”, meaning their isn’t any. I asked him, “mei you what?” and he said “mei you poo poo”. Ethan, less concerned about these things, will only attempt to repeat Chinese if it serves some purpose, like getting him ice cream. If something is too difficult, he will just say “grandma”. Though he does come out with some funnies. The other day I told him to say ice cream in Chinese and he said “ni hao, ice cream”. Also, after days of watching the same little Einsteins DVD, I tell them if they want to watch TV, it has to be Chinese. So TV is now called “chinese”. And if I dare change the channel from something they like, Ethan will throw himself on the bed, shrieking, “Chinese!” Another funny thing, though, is he also insists on watching the horrible screeching Chinese opera on TV. I certainly hope that won’t be his career interest!

We had a big lunch party with Jack’s classmates on Saturday. It took us about an hour to get to his cop friend’s apartment, with a taxi driver that didn’t know even a major famous spot. Jack commented when he saw he had a GPS (which he wasn’t using) that it’s not a good idea to take drivers with GPS’s since it means they don’t know their way around. We told him on arrival that we weren’t paying the full fare and he didn’t even argue. I wanted to pay a little more than what Jack offered but he refused. Later, other people and taxi drivers Jack talked to said you shouldn’t pay anything or threaten to call the cops. Of course, coming back home later with yeye and the boys another driver also took us a long and expensive way. I thought maybe it just should be like that but Jack was upset that maybe I got cheated again. Oh well, live and learn! The party itself was interesting. His classmates were all friendly (one girl is a twin herself), though they seemed to find it hysterical every time they said a word in English. And I wasn’t amused when, posing for picks, one of the ladies picked up one of the boys and as she was about to sit down, one of the men who’d been drinking too much, moved it back to adjust it for the pic and she barely caught herself. I just bit my tongue since everyone was fine. They all fawned all over the boys of course and they tolerated it pretty well. They wanted to go back to the cop’s house later, since they enjoyed sitting there drinking coke and eating candies.

We also discovered an “amusement park” in a park not too far we like to go to. It’s a bit overpriced, but to do once a week or so will be good. They boys loved the trampoline, ball pit and blow-up castle. We were happy to find something they could really play with. There just isn’t that much for kids here. Jack was telling some old ladies in our compound that and they tried to suggest a few things, but ultimately sighed and said there wasn’t that much for them to do here either. Of course, the park featuring the amusement park is free and always full of old people playing games or dancing or singing. Most of these exercise equipment that springs up every few yards or so was likely built to keep the older generation fit and happy. Jack says it keeps them occupied and thus from complaining about the government. I said that must be similar to giving my prisoner student cable television, to keep their minds occupied and out of trouble!

I can’t think of a lot more excitement going on around here. Just more destruction and painting everywhere. They are now tearing up the one playground we really liked in our old hotel. “so it meets Olympic standards”, the manager there told me… We generally have a similar schedule/patterns here as back home. As soon as the boys get up, they want a PB and honey sandwich and hot chocolate, and then Jack or his dad will go out to get Baozi steamed buns and eggs and egg bread, all of which the boys like. Mornings are our bigger outings, to a big park or some such. After nap, we generally stay around home, going out to play in the big square where everyone hangs out. A few days ago, an old lady in our building gave the boys a bag of cars and planes and toy soldiers and such, so they were quickly the most popular guys in the neighborhood. Along with their scooter, which is also popular, they interact a bit more with the other kids, though it varies. Yesterday, Isaac was on his scooter following a little girl around on hers for a while. Would have made a cute pic if I had the camera! Later they were throwing balls with her too and I had visions of them as teenagers fighting over girls… yikes.

But that’s a ways away… I hope! For now, we are getting ready to celebrate the big three. They are very excited and I just hope we can live up to their expectations! We will have a small do with old friends in the garden where they are tearing up the playground.

Yeye is here now. It’s been interesting. He loves the boys, though he said if we came when they were five, they’d be more fun… As it is, he annoys them to death and I see where Jack gets it from. I have to bite my tongue and instinct to drag them away when they get upset. But they annoy back. He gets upset that they just call for mama all the time and only stay out for brief periods if he takes them alone. But he will just have to wait til they get used to him. He’s not the kind of grandpa to go buy them presents all the time, but he does buy them watermelon, and suckers every day, which they are addicted to (always grape for Isaac and always a new flavor for Ethan every day which he then discards two minutes later and asks for more). He speaks his kind of non-standard Mandarin to them and tries to teach them but so far they aren’t picking up a lot. I’m sure, like with English the first couple years of their lives, they are absorbing a lot and I can tell they understand more and more even if they don’t say more than “ni hao” and “xie xie” when they feel like it (and “pigu” when they see a kid with the open pants).

Speaking of open pants, one unexpected positive side of our trip is the boys are going diaperless when they are not sleeping. And I now understand the benefits and ease of the open pants and may even get some! It’s very handy to be in a country where no one looks twice if your kids stop to pee in public. Heck, grown ups do it too. They have been getting very good and holding it and going when we tell them or letting us know when they are starting to go. Isaac even poopooed in the potty yesterday of his own volition. He was soooo proud of himself. He is so eager to be a “big kid” and when he does something like that or eats all his dinner, he will stand up tall and say “big, strong”. Of course it probably has something to do with wanting to be big enough to ride the roller coaster at the zoo. Ethan, as usual, is more in lalaland. He’s refused to poo poo for the last few days, will sit on the potty as long as I sit there too playing with him or reading a book, but nothing happens L However, he has progressed vastly from a few days ago when he was peeing on the floor to telling me he has to go (and sometimes then pointing out to me where some of it didn’t make it to the potty!)

Okay, enough potty talk. I’m just excited about that! In other news, we finally got them the scooter they have been longing for. They always see the other kids on the square with their cool toys. So daddy went and bought them one and they have been riding it non-stop. I do have visions of my brother as a kid getting a big injury from a scooter, but this one is small and hard to have a serious accident (she says hopefully). They do fight over it though and try to ride it in the house, in the street… They even got into a fight with a girl about it this morning. This little girl, kind of tomboy, we see all the time with her granny, she was riding it for a while while the boys played with her bucket and shovels and some dirt and they alternated blowing the cheap plastic trumpet daddy also got them. Well, after a while Ethan wanted to ride again, got on and while her granny was chatting to someone and I was rushing to tell her to just wait a minute, the girl pushed Ethan off. He of course became very upset and when granny intervened and the girl also didn’t get to ride it, she also started throwing a fit. Granny suggested we just take off and let her cool off, so we did.

It’s also been good to catch up with a few friends. We see Pamela every now and then, last time went to the Botanical Gardens with her and her replacement at her job (she starts a new one at China Daily) and his Russian cousin. Mark is supposedly coming before we leave – we’ll see. And we’ve been trying unsuccessfully to get together with Rob who seems to wake up about the time we’re going to bed! Today we also had lunch with Laurie Lew, who helped me get the job at CCTV, along with Edwin Maher, a really sweet older Australian man who is an anchor there. Where we live is the compound for the hotel staff. It’s kind of weird to see all these people we were used to seeing dressed up serving us, walking their dogs in their civvies. A lot of the same ones are here and they all remember us well, as well as remembering how pregnant I was when I left. Jack does better at remembering them though than I do! Jack has a lunch with his classmates tomorrow – we’re still debating whether the boys and I should go or not, I think probably not. He hasn’t got together with any of them since we got back. One sent us the tickets to the sports performace at the Bird’s Nest and then later asked if I would teach his wife English in exchange for her watching the boys. I couldn’t quite picture the logistics of this, especially with her living a ways away. Jack has another friend, Wang Hao, who we used to spend some time with who has disappeared. He kept changing jobs and lived in a $10/month shack and now noone can track him down. Another good friend of ours who lives in Sichuan we also can’t get a hold of. That’s kind of troublesome considering his family is from the earthquake area. Jack thinks though it’s just that he didn’t write down the correct cell phone number the last time they chatted before we left. I certainly hope that’s the case.

We had the nightmare train experience yesterday. More than that, probably one of my worst mommy moments ever. We had to get a 2:30 train back to Beijing and the boys naturally we’re quite tired by then. And we’d had to get to the station early because we had to check out of the hotel. So imagine 1 ½ hours of a very crowded station full of people going “twins!” and asking how old and who is older and so on. I tried to ignore most people, but some were really in your face, poking and pinching them and I would have to ask them not to.

But that wasn’t the nightmare part. The train was packed, with many having to stand the whole way. We had two seats and the boys fell asleep pretty easily on our laps. An hour or so later, the train made a long stop and Isaac, who was on daddy’s lap, woke up. And boy did he let the whole train know. He was like possessed, kicking and screaming and flailing about. I gave poor Ethan to Jack, knowing he would wake up then and cry also. But I still couldn’t do anything to calm Isaac down. The whole train was just watching this out of control foreigner’s kid. I just hadn’t a clue what to do, there was nowhere to take him, you couldn’t even move on this train. Finally when I gave him back to Jack who threatened to take him outside, he started screeching for mama and when I took him back, he calmed down. Of course then I also had Ethan on my lap, who started screaming because he didn’t want to share mama. It seemed like the longest stop ever. Eventually I got them both situated in a way that was comfortable and we had some peace and quite. But I am very thankful I never have to see anyone on that train again! And thankful Jack didn’t get the camera out to video. Though no doubt somebody probably did, and I don’t much want to look on YouTube to find out! I wish I knew why he behaves like that sometimes. Times like that when I am holding them and all their needs are met, I think of hungry, sick or neglected children and understand why parents say “I’ll give you something to cry about!” But Jack may be right that I spoil them in some ways and we are trying to work on dealing more with the tantrums at home, and saying no and meaning it, so the public displays decrease.

Most people on the train were sympathetic, especially once they were both back to their cute selves. Most people had smiles and pats on the head for them as they got of the train, one young guy saying in English “don’t cry, baby” from a song apparently. However, one foreign woman, with her husband and kid, all looking kind of ragged, gave me a kind of dirty look.

We were very happy to be back to our “home” and as if to make up for the train experience, the boys have been pretty sweet and well-behaved today. They have been going peepee a lot on the potty when we are home, though Ethan still has a hard time going on command. He’ll sit there, say “no peepee”, get off, then five minutes later pee all over the floor. I try to do like training a dog then and stick him back on the potty and make him sit there several minutes.

They also have been sharing very well most of the time (though if mama or daddy asks to share what we’ve just given them, we’re told to “go store, pay more”). We have some videos of them passing apples back and forth. This morning Ethan found a robot picture in a magazine and wouldn’t let go of it. Isaac really wanted it, and so when it was time for Ethan to go peepee, I told him to put it down and let Isaac look at it while he peepeed. He went and put it on the bed without argument. I told Isaac he had to give it back when Ethan was done and sure enough as soon as Ethan emerged from the bathroom, Isaac offered it back to him. I was quite impressed.

Isaac did another funny when we were at Beidaihe. There are so many hotel compounds there, most government-related and you can’t go in. Well, the one next to our hotel had a big sign out that said “the foreign tourist nalts!” We figured out, based on the Chinese that that meant “halts”. In Chinese is said something like “foreign friends, please don’t come in here.” I find that hysterical, like “we really like you, but we just can’t let you come in here.” Anyway, in this compound there was a playground the boys were constantly after going to. So one day Jack decided to try to take them in there to play. As I was waiting with the boys outside for Jack to come and do so, I explained to Isaac that mama couldn’t go in there. I said “Mama’s not Chinese”. He immediately pointed to himself and said “Isaac Chinese” and then pointed at me “no Chinese”. He apparently repeated this to Jack after they entered, but they were kicked out quickly anyway.

There are only a few hotels in that area that even can allow foreigners to stay. The Olympics have made everything stricter. I find it odd that the one event you want foreigners to feel very welcome for, they make it even harder. Still, they would probably say it’s for our “safety” – in other words, we don’t want you seeing or doing anything you shouldn’t. Particularly, there are family hotels that we could have stayed at for $5 a night, and they would have driven us around and cooked meals, but they had just received a notice from the government that they must not allow foreigners to stay. I told Jack he could take the boys by himself but he didn’t quite go for that idea.

Jack’s dad comes tomorrow and it will be very interesting to see how that goes. We have such small quarters. He will have to sleep in the dining room on the boys’ bed. So they will have to sleep one on the couch and one in our bed. But hopefully it will be a help having him around. The boys are excited about it but I’m not sure they really understand. Hopefully he will be excited too to meet them and hopefully they will take to him and he can help babysit and whatnot. He can cook too which will help and save us some money as well as energy.