I’m so happy it’s only two weeks before we are back in Beijing to get ready for our return flight. I’m glad we’re getting to see Jack’s family, but it’s all a bit much for me at moments – being in unfamiliar territory is bad enough but never getting a moment to myself is not good for the sanity. We had one of those horrible dinners Friday night where the men all get red-faced drunk while the women sit there drinking Sprite and looking on their men with pride. It was all I could do in my then already overwhelmed state of mind to keep from having a nervous breakdown.

Still it helps me understand Jack a bit better. His grandma is sweet, funny and completely mad all rolled into one. She never stops talking to me even though I can only understand a few words here and there. I was walking her around a small museum today and it took forever because she moved so slowly, would stop to talk to me (and beat her grandson when he tried to make her move faster). It occurred to me later that she is illiterate and probably wanted some explanation what we were looking at but I also can’t read that much Chinese. I feel badly for her though since apparently her daughters keep her confined so they don’t have to pay her medical bills if she gets ill, though she is sooo happy when we insist on taking her out to parks or museums. She tricked her daughter, the “second aunt” into letting her out of the house to go visit us at the “big aunt’s” house by telling her she was going back to her own house. And apparently she is plotting to keep one of the boys (Isaac is the current favorite) here in Chongqing. Haha, funny. Jack’s “big aunt” keeps telling me to leave one. She is only half kidding I think. I feel badly for her. I thought when we arrived that she was the craziest aunt, refusing to even let me bathe the boys, but she has turned out to be the more calm and normal. And her craziness is a bit understandable considering her son died a year or so ago of a brain tumor. I met him last time we paid a brief visit and he was really sweet, non-complaining. It really grieves me to think about, especially how that must be for her. She seems to be coping well but her husband seems more detached. I told Jack it’s kind of ironic that she would clearly love to have a grandchild to take care of but will never get one while his mother has these two grandsons and isn’t interested in them. He said she (who visited with is dad a few months ago – I don’t get this family) got upset when she heard we were coming and hadn’t told her.

Anyway, I can’t imagine bringing up any kid where they live. Saying it’s a dump is being kind. There is literally trash everywhere, a sort of river going by that is also filled with trash and stinks to high heaven. Everywhere you go is the same – just feels toxic to me, I feel like a bad mother letting my kids stay there even a few days yet people are living their whole lives there and somehow proud of it. Still, the boys actually enjoyed it, and liked being able to roam around and climb hills and go around vegetable paddies and so on. We went one afternoon to find Jack’s old middle school. Was a veeery long walk through trash heaps and toxic factories but the boys did pretty well and enjoyed it. Jack was very happy to find it, even under a new name, and look around and tell me stories of things he was remembering. He’s been really reminiscing a lot this whole trip.

I also just have to tell a sweet Ethan story. Despite his propensity to beat his brother, he seems to be the most soft-hearted of the two and is always more ready to share than Isaac and when Isaac demands “big” asks sweetly if he can have “small”. Well, lately he has been into making these so-called “robots” out of blocks. It consists of a long block with a small one for a head and two other small ones for feet. Very small and simple yet he makes them all the time and carries them around and gives them to other people. Anyway, yesterday Isaac took his “robot” just out of malice and threw it on the floor. Ethan plopped down weeping and wailing and I proceeded tell Isaac he needed to fix it and say sorry to his brother. He was screaming and refusing and meanwhile Ethan got up and went to fix his robot – but at the same time he made one for Isaac too and gave it to him. I was so shocked and touched I nearly cried. It was like he thought, “if Isaac wants one let him have his own” or maybe more like “this way he won’t destroy mine anymore!”. Nevertheless I found that an amazing example of turning the other cheek (or was it heaping burning coals?). They really interact well more and more and are really good friends most of the time. I love it when I catch them conversing with each other, but even more when they work out problems together and work together without being told.